trip to a dream


don’t let the moon dims

since it light can bright my way me in the dark

don’t let the stars cry

since it’s tears could fade my passion

don’t let the sun smile

since it’s light could scorch my hope

but let the wind blow

then it could fly me to my dreams


– mei –


deep inside


after all you’ve done to me
My mind says to leave the pain you’ve created
but the love’s chain you’d put around me… too tight

after all you’ve done to me
my mind says to leave the disappointment that cause
but the love’s poison you’d given… fainting me

sometime when you are far away
my heart keeps saying that I miss you

sometime when you are close to me
my mind forgot the engraved wound

and my heart says just wait and hope
and my mind says no more disappointment

and my heart says it’s gonna be alright
and my mind says you will live in pain

but deep inside
I knew this feeling wouldn’t end


– mei –

maybe…., this time

if we could see each other again
wishing words would come to tell you
though I’ve only known a few
I need you

If we could see each other again
wishing words would come to tell you
though I’ve only known a few
I love you

we know from the start
we belong to each other
but we were made mistake along the way
we lost what we both had found
and we were too blind to see

If we could see each other again
I wish maybe this time
we won’t be like strangers
we won’t be apart
we won’t say good-bye


– mei

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I’m in love through the window

through the window I see him pass by
his sturdy step
as a solid ivory pillar

I hope he will see me
and when I see his intimate stare
compelled me helpless

I wish him talk to me
and when I hear to his soft voice
such as morning welcome the sun


and I start imagining
of being in his warm hug
his touch will burn my passion

then I feel the sense of love creeping
throughout the body
and it’s embraced my soul
get me ready to sail on its ship
and willing to die in its eternity
then I realized
I’m in love
through the window


– mei –

a big thanks to Jani for the photo

that woman is ….

I sit still
listening to the language of the heart
as if living in a world that far out of reach
where the bitterness and anguish hiding
which ready to come while in lulled

I sit still
trying to understand the language of the soul
hear the silence whispered to this heart
about woman’s existence on the stage of life
about the role that she plays

I begin to ask
what role is given
the silence whispered to my soul
she will arouse a passionate
she arouses the curiosity
like a flower that blooms without the aid of the season
woman is a beauty that cannot be understood
such as the softly melodious music sang by wind
such as the dew sparkling on sunny morning
such as butterfly that flies on approaching
she will be adored at her youth
but then will be forgotten when she grizzled
a fat and weak body waiting at the kitchen’s corner
such as leaf which ready to fall when the snow coming
such a tree eaten by termites and ready to fall
disappointment for no respect carved
but no tears dripping

I was stunned
and my body vibrates
heart and my soul become hustle and bustle
since that woman is me
again the silence whispered to my soul
you are the mother of your kids
which one day became
man and woman


– mei –


the feeling inside

when the sun calling

I did not answer

my eyes that accustomed to the dark

can not afford to look on the bright

when the night calling

I replied out loud

because it is my ally

to meditate in a sea of thoughts

lit by a candle

connect the dots into letters

crochet stanzas into poem

to shed the agitated in the chest

only for one reason

to let out the feeling inside my chest

chase or avoid

is a human instinct to chase it
there is no objection or complaint
it’s a proof that we are the servants of ambition

human instinct to avoid it
bound to be resisted or fled
it’s a proof that we are weak creatures

veil between too thin to be seen
such pouring water into a cracked glass
slowly seeps out in due time

the cup of dignity

when you cried
I pretended not to hear
when you talk
I don’t want to hear
when you shook me
I pretended not understand

then you ask
why didn’t I answer you
I say
too much to listen to you
made my ears full
no more space for question

you yelled again
why I didn’t  fulfill your request

I say
I grant whatever you’ve asked
I gave everything I had
nothing left to give
besides this dignity
but I’ll keep it

my soul is revoked
which my body will be devoured by worms
but this honor
will stay

to fill the cup of
my descendants

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the ballad of nature #1

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my soul is lifted

motionless body
covered in white cloth
surrounded by crying people
I see my mother
my sister
and my sons
they all looked so sad
I ask my mother
“what’s happening mom?”
she didn’t answer
as she’s not heard me
I ask my sister
she’s just still and keep crying
I open the white cover
but nothing happen
“what’s going on
can anybody tell me?”



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last words.

I could only cry

feeling of useless was struggling  in my chest

couldn’t bear to see him wrestled with death

moaned and groaned resignedly

I could only wish

If God allow me to replace him

but the desire was stream away with tears

such as footprint erased by waves

I hugged him and whispered

“please stay with me”

he weakly open his palms

written there “I will always love you”

bitterness slicing inside my bones

half of my soul gone along with him

after he carved his last words in my life

then he sailed to the forest of immortal

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prisoner of a dream

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two seasons to wait

there is a land
where snow could be touched
where snow could be felt
I never been there
but I want to be there
and I’ll be there

at the snowing land
there is someone
someone so special
someone  I loved
and I will loving him
till last

I am now  in the land of snow
touching the snow
feeling the cold
waiting for him
he hasn’t come

in the land of snow
the winter has gone
spring surrounding
I am still waiting
but he hasn’t come
and he never comes


– mei _

a sonnet of painful

the loud sound of blast
broke the silence of the night
splitting the dream
start creating the sonnet of painful

innocence babies crying
children screaming bewilderment
they could only crying and screaming
since they are really in frightened

debris everywhere, flame here and there
bodies lay bathed in blood
bodies lay lifeless
some moaning, some silent

some hurt
some dead
some became defectively
some became orphan

tears will not be enough to pay for grief
regret will not return the dead
the guilt has to live tormented
in this world and hereafter



– mei –

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the value of a friendship

on a sheet of paper you wrote a confession

on that paper you beg for my forgiveness

then I started to wept in the valley of frustration

mourn for the broken of a friendship

it’s vanished just because of the lust and ego

although my tears will not be able to pay for this disappointment

but it’s too precious to wept for the infidelity

I cried because this friendship does not meant anything to you

“Oh God, I’d rather lost my lover than my best friend!”

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