nine years …, for the next nine years


nine years
I am with your shadow
inherent in my days of lonely
dimmed the expectations
which began to obsolescent


nine years
I  lived with your shadow
which flowed within my blood
poison the body
bring me to fragile


nine years
I  lived with your shadow
which came in every dream
slowly filling the empty niche of my soul
that keep me survive till today


nine years
I  lived with your shadow
praying and hoping with believe
and convincing my heart that
I’ll be waiting for the next nine years



– mei –

our obligation

the children
they are here…, because of us

what they say
is what they heard from us

what they do
because they see what we did
they are bound to emulate

if they are being good
because we asked them to be nice

if they are not good
because we don’t teach them correctly

we used to be …, they are now
their wills…, used to be our wills

as we ever want to be heard
they also want to be heard

they rely on us because they trust us

as we ever want attention
they needed more,  than us

its our obligation to give them the best
for their future will be better than us in every way


– mei –

Continue reading

the true meaning of life

sailing on the edge of twilight

upon the old soft blue water

seeking answer to a question

which not been answered for so long

sailing in the haze of night lamps

flooded by worldly pleasures

wallowing in flattery and  false tenderness

that change the earth into the meadow of pleasures

sailing to each corner of the heart

anchored in the depths of soul

relieve hunger and thirst of searching

of learning the true meaning of life

finally, landed on a tattered prayer mat

releasing restless and fatigue of searched

prostrating over the tears of remorse

where the true meaning of life waiting in patience

Continue reading

a special delivery

a  last love package

 I received


thousands of roses

delivered by motorcycle


he disappeared

among the silence

stole a part of my heart

take along my cheerful

left me in reverie


no mail to  send

no reply to wait

no roses to accept

waiting for emptiness

disappointment carved

his charm…, which ever

stopped by in my mind

in a fleeting moment

is now a memory

the sweet one


stamped as history

Continue reading

behind the vulnerability

do we realize that we are living

in the magnificent cage of prejudice?

which constructed to hide our shortage

do we realize that we are singing

among the jealousy hills?

to protect from our inability

do we realize that we are sneaking

in the dense jungle of judgement?

to hide our mistakes

do we realize that we are staying

behind the solid walls of arrogance?

to protect our selves pride

do we realize that we are generous

easy to pity…. ?

that vanish at the time we look away

we should realize that we are

the perfect creäture on the universe

but we shut down our selves

and feel safe by hiding behind our vulnerable
why don’t we admitted

that we can’t overcome the selfishness

and not becoming more available to others

in sharing our love and attention

Continue reading

the last wish for the last day

no tear to dropped

since it will be a thorn in my grave

no grief on face

for my soul will lightly fly


let me die in peace

and pray for me

let my body embraced by ground

let my bones devoured by worms

as my soul will surely freed of

burden and responsibility

and begin a new life

at the land of peaceful


the hidden secrets of woman’s heart



This part was quoted from The Broken Wings one of the literary works of Khalil Gibran that I liked.

I think it’s true, what do you think?



The poets and writers are trying to understand the reality of woman,

but up to this day they have not understood the hidden secrets

of her heart because they look upon her from

behind the sexual veil

and see nothing but externals;

they look upon her through the magnifying glass of hatefulness

and find nothing except weakness and submission.

In another occasion she said, pointing to the carved pictures

on the walls of the temple,

“In the heart of this rock there are two symbols depicting

the essence of a woman’s

desires and revealing the hidden secrets of her soul,

moving between love and sorrow

between affection and sacrifice,

between Ishtar sitting on the throne and

Mary standing by the cross.

The man buys glory and reputation,

but the woman pays the price.



The Broken Wings

by: Kahlil Gibran



swirling in bitterness





through the blue haze

I see the darkness of my soul

somewhere lay and frozen in time

swirling in bitterness of love pain

I heard the sound of silence calling

at a glance I feel you’re here

at the time….., I swear I want you

but just keep swirling in bitterness

morning shine of amber light

at a glance I let this promise end

at the time….., I swear I feel free

from the bitterness that swirling in my soul

with a little wish that lived inside

I hope to see my soul in a moment

to remind that I am suffering by my sanity

for loving you in a world away


– mei –




when love whispers

when love whispers

its light accelerates the heart beat

illuminate the corners of soul

swirling in imagination


when love whispers

days go by in the world of dreams

life has filled by beauty

charm of the ocean of love


when love whispers

silence is a beautiful music

create a need to touched the passionate

in released the sense of longing


when love whispers

there is only one language

for a desire

united the soul in a feeling



the ballad of nature #2
















the echo of adzan


 the adzan

when it echoed

let it touch the soul

let it flow with blood

and sincerity

run the command

for a moment

leave the poetry of life

that wrapped in residues of sin

of the world’s dirtiness

no reason

for the obligation

its strengthen

the weak ship

with faith

don’t delay

as if  the time

soon stopped

to sail to the horizon

of afterlife


Word of the Prophet Muhammad:
“The length of jewelry that would be obtained of a believer on the
Day of Judgment is according to the length of the wet
ablution water body member.”


dream in vain


the love melody haunts me

intoned the poem of you

the reflection of you draw me into reverie

lead me across the desert of love

threw me into the ocean of romance

though you are far away

the love music would not die

while the lyrics remained in my heart

to go with the futile dream


– mei –






you suckle at my breasts

you fall asleep in my lap

you cry in my arms

you sick I awake

Your wish is my prayer

your trouble is in my mind

my face lines carved by your tears

my tears to pay your suffering

I hide my misery

but keeping you happy

I sacrifice my hopes

but lash your spirit

not a cent in return


love and respect

you are not aware yet

I believe you will…, one day

the time you became as me

the time you became a mother

at that time you will understand

the sincerity

of being a mother




just wishes

I dance while crying in the rain

hoping this faith will no longer tempted

by a momentary lust


I dance while crying in the rain

wishing for no more mistakes

caused by worldly vices


I dance while crying in the rain

hope that body and soul will cleaned

of disgraceful thoughts and actions


when the rain stops

the wishes gone

I did not became clean


wallowed in the mud of dilapidation