in and out of reality

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I crawled out of my skin
and curled into a ball
allowed the wind to kick me
down an endless winding road

along the way I witnessed
invisible claws dig
deep inside an open field
uncovering ancient treasures

as diamonds gradually
overwhelmed the sky
I unfurled my mind and
surrendered my spirit
to the next reality



november two thousand thirteen
copyright j matthew waters
all rights reserved

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…. without lyrics

*

o you who had been cast by the sky
the wind keep whispering your names
the sky keep painting your faces

your presence eliminates my hesitation
refreshing the wilt hope
fills in the hollow soul with passion

ssssst…….
listen!
listen to that gently rhythm
the fairies are humming
for you ….
for me ….
for all of us
a beautiful ballad without title…., without lyric

o my loved ones
whose names whispered by the wind
whose faces painted by the sky
let us write the lyrics of the ballad …. titled togetherness

o my loved ones
whose presence eliminate the doubt
whose refresh the wilt hope
let us sing along…… the song of togetherness
to fill the world’s silence with affection

***

– mei –

photo: http://www.desktopnexus.com/

*

no curves to turn back

*

*

she said to me
my dear daughter
you are walking on the path of life
have you ever ask yourself
if  you have walking on the right path

when arrived at a crossroad
have you asked yourself
which direction should be taken

after direction decided
you have to assures yourself
that you have taken the right one
since there are no curves to turn back

I shuddered
started asking myself
the indecisive  feelings arose
this body shivered
my soul trembled

then she said softly
sweetheart…  if you are not sure
just stop for a moment
ask Him
to lead you to the right direction

***

– mei –

*

the answer

*

though silence like the night
does not mean I can not talk
I am just trying to understand
*

though restless as the clouds
does not mean I can not be still
I am just waiting for an answer
*

when I look into the mirror
I can not see my face
but only a grain of sand
that slam by waves to the beach
*

when I opened the window
I flown by the winds like a piece of dried leaves
soar and stranded at a pair of legs
*

and when I turned up
there are Thy hand
reaching out to me to stand

***

– mei –

*

the end of his career

*

matador*

This incredible photo marks the end of Matador Torrero Alvaro Munera’s career.

He collapsed in remorse mid-fight when he realized he was having to prompt
this otherwise gentle beast to fight. He went on to become an avid opponent of
bullfights. Even grievously wounded by picador, he did not attack this man.

Torrero Munera is quoted as saying of this moment:
“And suddenly, I looked at the bull. He had this innocence that all animals have in their eyes,
and he looked at me with this pleading. It was like cry for justice, deep down inside of me.
I describe it as being like a prayer because if one confesses, it is hope, that one is forgiven.
I felt like the worst shit on earth”.

*

from Best Quotes

***

– mei –

*

baby for rent

*
Every time I pass the hospital’s gate to visit my brother, I saw a young woman begging
while cradling  her baby. As  I know beggars usually looks slouchy with faces to be pitied.
But this one is different, she looks clean and smiles the time receiving the alms.
It’s inviting my attention.

One other day after the visit I have to wait for the heavy rain at the bus stop.
Then I saw her again sitting in the corner but looks gloomy.
I approached her and try to open a conversation, “Hi my name is Mei what’s yours?.
She answered reluctantly, “Kartina”.
“You have a beautiful name, how old your baby is?” while observing the baby.
He was so thin, yellow and his eyes glazed.
She looks at me with a rather wide-open eyes “He is not my baby!” she said firmly.
I was a bit surprised, “Oh I am so sorry…, I thought he is your baby because I saw you
cradle him every day!”.
“I rent him!”, she said with a barely heard sound.
This time I really shocked but try to distract her attention by offering candies.
She took and straightly eat it.
I asked her again, “I often seeing you smile, but today you seem gloomy?”
She replied without hesitation “I only get Rp. 12 thousand since this morning while
the rent of this baby is Rp. 25 thousand for one day”. she stopped, look at me with hope.
“He should be returned at 19.00 every day. But tomorrow they would not let me bring him
if I do not pay today’s rent” she sighed.
“Why should you bring the baby, isn’t that even a hassle ?”
“Well….  by carrying him my revenue could be tripled”.
“How much is your income in a day?”
“Not necessarily, but at least Rp.140 – 170 thousand !” a little pride splashed at the look of her face”.
Speechless ….   didn’t know what to say…..  wondered what was happening in this world.
Left her a little box of candy then said goodbye.
Went home in the cold rain yet the inside of me burning.

After the incident I never want to look at the place she was begging, I don’t have
heart to see the baby in her arms.
I would never know, whether the human moral has been slumped or this life that ruthless.

***

– mei –

*

painting the sky

sir
too long you shackled by miserable
letting me wait in uncertainty
sailing alone…. without skipper
spent my days in wondering

*

sir
why so much dark covering your soul
what the hell heaven had done on you
united with the darkness
haunted by the voices inside you
evicting you into another world
so you feel so damned

*

o sir
you have painted the sky with sadness
so the couples of seagulls
bounced away and disappeared in the distance
the sky became empty….  without painting

*

sir
wish you would open the door
and let me reaching your troubled soul
to cast away the misery
and set your spirit  free

*

come on sir
the river is waiting to flow together
the leaves inviting to whisper along
or perhaps you preferred to fly along the seagulls
to paint the sky with love

***

– mei –

*

the remaining longs

*
street lights shining dimly
night wind blows a scent I’ve ever known
thrilling the remaining longs
oh that feeling is still there
*

rain began to fall
like silver needles pierce my veil
I sheltering in front of a store
wishing I was with you
*

waiting for the rain to stop
the memories about you venturing
you was the one who sow the seeds of love
you let grow large with leaves of longing
but then you left it drought
the tree of love languish
*

in this solitude
I wondered
why we met if then have to split
why should there be love
if it only makes us miserable
oh God wish I knew your purpose
*

I shudder …..  walk home in the rain

***

– mei –

*

before we complain

crying in gratitude

when….
he was getting tired
when….
he began to surrender

You hold his hand
and whisper in his ear
slowly …. the helpless legs can be driven

he cry
I cry
we all crying
in gratitude

praise be  to  Allah,
indeed He is the best
His greatness start to work

alhamdulillah
Alhamdulillah!!!

***

– mei –

to my dear brother Huki
He that can have patience can have what he will.”

Benjamin Franklin

***