I am saturated
of translating the night’s songs

I am tired
of counting the stars

I want to go
flying among the clouds
to avoid this loneliness

I want to be blown by the wind
greet the leaves
pinching butterflies
chatting with birds
then my days remain unfilled
and ends with a smile


baby for rent

Every time I pass the hospital’s gate to visit my brother, I saw a young woman begging
while cradling  her baby. As  I know beggars usually looks slouchy with faces to be pitied.
But this one is different, she looks clean and smiles the time receiving the alms.
It’s inviting my attention.

One other day after the visit I have to wait for the heavy rain at the bus stop.
Then I saw her again sitting in the corner but looks gloomy.
I approached her and try to open a conversation, “Hi my name is Mei what’s yours?.
She answered reluctantly, “Kartina”.
“You have a beautiful name, how old your baby is?” while observing the baby.
He was so thin, yellow and his eyes glazed.
She looks at me with a rather wide-open eyes “He is not my baby!” she said firmly.
I was a bit surprised, “Oh I am so sorry…, I thought he is your baby because I saw you
cradle him every day!”.
“I rent him!”, she said with a barely heard sound.
This time I really shocked but try to distract her attention by offering candies.
She took and straightly eat it.
I asked her again, “I often seeing you smile, but today you seem gloomy?”
She replied without hesitation “I only get Rp. 12 thousand since this morning while
the rent of this baby is Rp. 25 thousand for one day”. she stopped, look at me with hope.
“He should be returned at 19.00 every day. But tomorrow they would not let me bring him
if I do not pay today’s rent” she sighed.
“Why should you bring the baby, isn’t that even a hassle ?”
“Well….  by carrying him my revenue could be tripled”.
“How much is your income in a day?”
“Not necessarily, but at least Rp.140 – 170 thousand !” a little pride splashed at the look of her face”.
Speechless ….   didn’t know what to say…..  wondered what was happening in this world.
Left her a little box of candy then said goodbye.
Went home in the cold rain yet the inside of me burning.

After the incident I never want to look at the place she was begging, I don’t have
heart to see the baby in her arms.
I would never know, whether the human moral has been slumped or this life that ruthless.


– mei –


I’d rather closed my eyes



if I close my left eye
I would see beauties and peacefulness
really  wonderful


if I close my right eye
I would see violence and jealousy
  so pathetic


when I open both eyes
I would see suffering and oppression
that broke my heart


oh dear….., I’d rather closed my eyes
sleep on the land of God
seen nothing but love


– mei –



understand in whole





In the lyrics of a song
there is sad or glad

in the verses of a prayer
there is demand and repentance

in the game of love
there is sadness and happiness

in life
I just knew
I had to live it
with laughter and tears
with good and evil
through sick and healthy
overall packed in one suitcase
labelled “understand life in whole”


A big thanks to Kamel for the image.


– mei –

love doesn’t knows no time




just like an old song

spinning inside heads

wondering if love may grow

and took over the hostility like an ocean wave

washed away the anger with the drifting tide



like the dawn breaking the night

leave the wound of the past

assuring that we will be able to face tomorrow

to see the rising sun with smile

lighting up the day for everyone



though so much pain we’ve perceived

there is also so much hope lies in the future

cannot be predicted but will be faced

and the time will lead us


though it’s going to be a long journey

we’ve should begin now

do not ask when will we stop

because love doesn’t knows no time



– mei –


photo  ;



before I say “Amen”




I once drank the wine of  bitter life
which slammed this soul into the aisle of emptyness
all seems so unfair
the road ahead seems endless
and sometime the dream so far away
but when I almost surrender
I stop and remember
the endless love that freely given
so that I could survive until this moment
and never forget the harsh lessons in my life
it make me stronger
before I say ‘Amen
I’ll also pray for the people
who is reading this
shall have the comfort, peace and love
I may not know their troubles
but God…., You do
give them the strength as given to me
keep them safe from worldly temptations of this winding life
and arrived safe in Your kingdom of love
Thank you God




– mei –


in God’s eyes



to me the moon smiles
I’m wondering
does it also smile at you?

to me the star glanced coquettishly
I’m wondering
does it also glance at you?

we were in different places
and separated by distance
are we different?

I guess “not”
though you were in West and I am in the East
though you were white and I am black
we were have the same blood
and it’s red

even if you’re smart and I’m stupid
we will always have the same rights
in the eyes of God
we were equal


– mei –

ended without known


they say life is a stage

that played the story about life

God is the director


I am the actor


the script had yet received

so I do not know what my role is

they say;

the story has been compiled

and …. I need no script

just act till the drama ended

how is the end of the story?

they say … they did not know

then I play the role

as the will of the Supreme Director

rolling willingly like stone

flowing sincere like river

follow the stories that been compiled

ended without known


– mei –

evidence of presence

silence be the friend

darkness be the home

in the ground …. be fused

evidence of presence?

the tombstones


– mei –

Will you help me?


bring me the messy grain of affection

to be arranged as it should be

do not let it rolled under the foot

so as not to be trampled by the anger


bring me the broken pieces of brotherhood

to be arranged as it should be

do not be left scattered and crushed

by hatred and selfishness

I had tried so hard to re-arrange it

but too large and complicated

Will you help me ….. my friend?


You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one.
I hope someday you’ll join us, and the world will be as one.
– John Lennon –


– mei –

a trust


the knife that pierced so deep
may be not make screams

a basket of painful memories
may be not make tears falling

the poignant was…..
the trust given had been in vainly


– mei –


–  My big thank to Kamelkaka for the image  –



o love….

don’t let this heart seeking

dropped your petals on this heart

let the fragrance spreads out

to fill this empty soul with passion

come love…, please come

I’m tired of making out with blue

dwell in the solitude of a slowly decaying

let togetherness filled this vulnerable inner

with caring and compassion

o love…., live in me

reached out your strong sense

guide me through the darkness

let me stepped surely on the bridge of life

and fill your greatness in my days


– mei –

living for love

last night

I lay on the grass

and I remembered you

and thinking how the world was old

I am here and you were there

separated by distance


we all were living for love

as I was part of you, and you were all of me

all those beautiful words and memories

as the day’s page….. will passed

but it will stay in my remembrance

Happy Thanksgiving

my friends


– mei –

what is the difference

they are dirty
they stink
they beg
they are poor
they are not confident
whether they were sinned
to be left behind
they just lost
in the battle of life
whether they were sinned
indeed they are poor
but…, perhaps rich in heart

their clean
they are fragrance
their generous
they are rich
they are so confident
whether they were sacred
to be in priority
they just win
in the battle of life
whether they were not sinned
indeed they are rich
but…, perhaps poor in heart


– mei –

no problem…, no God

within this life

when there is no problem

we just stay quiet

enjoying the comfort

sunk in pleasure


when the problem came

we think

we move

we struggle against it


at such moment

we remember God

we asking and pleading
hoping to be  granted


– mei

the puzzle of life

if have to be happy
why there is sorrow

if have to be love
why there is hatred

if have to die
why there is life

if there is peace
why there is war

it is confusing
not dare to think
moreover to choose

which one is right
which one is wrong

which one is good
which one is bad

it might be
the puzzle of life
but …, how to solved it


– mei –


o sky bird….
sows the seed of love to each empty heart
let the trees of compassion grow

o rain….
wets those dry and barren feelings
so the passionate of love could thrive

o earth….
let the roots of brotherhood spreads to each soul
to remove anger and envies

o wind….
blow the sense of love to the world
whisper the beauty of togetherness
invite them to unite in peaceful


– mei –

Continue reading

if the end is near

at the messy noon
when the breath of life struggling
the torment restrained
in the silence of night
when the breath of life resting
the grief haunted
no naughty tickling from leaves
no jokes from the flirtatious flowers
no swaying of the soft green grass
all just silent ….. in worries
scorch slowly
obliterate  surely
nature crying in deeply
for the dying of sustainability
no one care even aware


– mei –

Continue reading

the remaining soul

his shadow slowly disappears

take along half of my soul

dragging the hope to disappointment

splitting the dreams of being wound

God…….I’m not asking you

to bring him back

nor to heal this wound

but with this remaining soul

please strengthen me


– mei –

swirling in alleged

maybe I embarrassed
let my self hiding behind the curtain of doubt
and keep my feelings stay inside


maybe I’m blind
didn’t see the time pass through my view
and let the chance slip away


maybe I’m stupid
let my mind laying in regret
with the wish which difficult to expressed


maybe if I meet him again
I will take the time to expressed
the feeling I felt deep inside


maybe he’ll listen, or laugh, or think I’m crazy
maybe he’ll ignore me and just walk away
maybe I will not able to say and keep spinning in alleged

Continue reading

through a falling leaf

Continue reading


This poem written by an African child and was nominated for

 The Best Poem of 2005

When I born, I black

When I grow up, I black

When I go in sun, I black

When I scared, I black

When I sick, I black

When I die, I still black

and you white fellows

When you born, you pink

When you grow up, you white

When you go in sun, you red

When you cold, you blue

When you scared, you yellow

When you sick, you green

When you die, you grey


you called me coloured?


– mei –

I wonder!

in the rain
under the sun
in each corner of this earth
I am looking for a glimmer of harmony
but it’s rare, even difficult to find
here and there ….just
suffering children
women become widowed
husband had been assassinated
and those that lefts are lamenting for lost
it’s the caused of the power and politics arrogance
to all the leaders of the countries, where is the sense of humanity
why do not we let togetherness growing and developing?
why can’t we cherish  the opportunity that given?
why can’t we keep love and be in peace?
where is the given compassion?
is this our desired?
I wonder!


– mei –

The Indian Coast Guard has released a harrowing video account of its rescue of Rohingya
boat people, showing skeletal men crowded on the gunwales of their sinking vessel.
More than 300 of the boat’s original contingent died and 88 were rescued.


Peace is not only for people, race or certain religion, but it’s the right of humankind


Continue reading

from me to you

my dear friends

we were born with ability
we were born with talents
we were born with compassion
we were born with confidence
we were born with generosity
we have wings of love
let’s learn to use them
fly everywhere to share goodness
no shy for love, no regret to be loved
come….., flap your wings of love
flew together to share goodness


– mei –

Continue reading

for a better tomorrow

when the sun rises
the flowers and leaves humming
butterflies smiling
crochet the spirit of today
if the sun is sad
the sky became overcast
creating restless and agitated
seizing the spirit of today
if the sun cry
the water falling on the earth’s lap
moistens the day’s hope
postpone the trip of today
now the sun sets
releasing today’s fatigue
the haze started spread among of night
carves a dream for a better tomorrow


– mei –

Continue reading

an invitation from a grain of sand

though small as grain of sand
I am part of this world
perhaps my presence means nothing
for I have been created
and I am here among you

though small as grain of sand
I am part of this world
I could have hurt your eyes
but I have been created
and I am here among you

though small as grain of sand
I am part of this world
perhaps no one cares to my existence
but I want to do something worth
for you and all of His creation
though small as grain of sand
I am part of this world
please give me a chance
to invite you to share the goodness
and do a meaningful thing to this world

no matter what color you are
no matter what faith you believed
no matter how great you are
with love we were created
to love and beloved we were here


– mei –

Continue reading

we knew the answer

the dew had not yet faded
when the sun releasing its light
from the embrace of the night
the dawn smiling while humming
the hymn of welcoming a new day
flowers are greeting to one another
and the butterflies elegantly dancing
among the swaying leaves
then the wind blowing for today’s news
war in the Middle East
corruption in Indonesia
storms in China and America
hunger in Africa
sudden the beetles interrupt
do you know why it’s occurred?
here :no!
there: no!
this earth is getting older and vulnerable
it’s starting damaged
everyone asking : by whom?
by those who cannot appreciate and nurture
yes we know, but who are they?
the beetles confidently answer, humans!
all shocked
but why?
because human are greedy
so we cannot let it more severe
then saying in a broken spirit
I am worry about our next generations
all murmuring and wondering
“Oh how are the lives of our descendants later?”
they are becoming concerned
and looks really sad
then the wind blows gently
inviting us and all creations
to nurture this world
to hand in hand and singing the song below

do we have the heart knowing the next generations be suffer?
do we have the heart to let them bear all the consequences of our actions?
do we still have love for our descendants?
we knew the answer!!!


– mei –

calculation as a consideration

let him sleep
let him rest
then he would make no more crimes

let him sleep
let him rest
then he would forget of his sins

let him sleep quiet
let him rest forever
for no more regrets

when a fetus begins to animate
he has been listed on HIS wills
his journey started written
his sin and goodness will be carved
his repentance will be considered

HE is calculating
HE is considering
whether heaven or hell


– mei –

O ye who believe, fear Allah and let every soul pay attention to what he has done for tomorrow (hereafter),
and fear to Allah, surely Allah is Aware of what ye do.
(Al Hasyr 18)

it was time

I was here

when she planted the seeds

I was also here

when she provided fertilizer to the growing trees

I was hanging around

when she watching the flower buds begin to appear

and now I am here

picking the blooming flowers

to sprinkle on her grave

I believe she would be happy

sleeping under a sprinkling of

her last flowers

which could not be seen


– mei –

Continue reading

a stupid astonishment

I wonder…..,
why humans tend to get close to the wealthy than the poor

is it wrong if….,
the poor be helped and be taught to get more?

I wonder why….,
the wealthy is getting valued and not the poor

they are the same

equally consists of both blood and bone
equally had sense
equally will be dead
wealth or poverty just a fate
but both are equally need to be respected


living day-by-day
between the sweetness and bitterness
singing, laughing and crying
involved in the black and white of life

under the pouring rain wet by sins
wallowing in the mud of pleasure
under the sunlight dried by wildness
to be swallowed and united with contempt

using the leaves of greed
trying to clean up the dirt
then burn all the responsibilities
with the denial twigs as the coal

but the root of firmness still remaining
which wondering if there still a chance
to guard which had been lent
to keep the trust that given

then realized why could only
asking more and more than giving
regret penetrating to the entire chest
wailing in the tears of remorse

through the body and soul
above the mats strewn with flowers of hope
a plea has been sent for Thy forgiveness
kneeling and thankful for Thy love
which has been given for years in life