an ‘inevitability’

….and I stay stunned
one other soul leave the body
a life changed to a death

if I die…. oh no
I’m not ready yet

suddenly my brain says:
“I knew, you knew… we all knew
every soul that breathes will surely die
because death is an ‘inevitability’
it will come to anyone, anytime, anywhere
no delay… no resist… no exception”

then my heart interrupts:
“it’s not to be feared
if you have enough charities
to get the key of the hereafter”


“Who are often remembering the death and diligently prepare to face death
will get the serenity of the world and the glory of the hereafter. “

– Prophet Muhammad –

no curves to turn back



she said to me
my dear daughter
you are walking on the path of life
have you ever ask yourself
if  you have walking on the right path

when arrived at a crossroad
have you asked yourself
which direction should be taken

after direction decided
you have to assures yourself
that you have taken the right one
since there are no curves to turn back

I shuddered
started asking myself
the indecisive  feelings arose
this body shivered
my soul trembled

then she said softly
sweetheart…  if you are not sure
just stop for a moment
ask Him
to lead you to the right direction


– mei –


the answer


though silence like the night
does not mean I can not talk
I am just trying to understand

though restless as the clouds
does not mean I can not be still
I am just waiting for an answer

when I look into the mirror
I can not see my face
but only a grain of sand
that slam by waves to the beach

when I opened the window
I flown by the winds like a piece of dried leaves
soar and stranded at a pair of legs

and when I turned up
there are Thy hand
reaching out to me to stand


– mei –


chasing the shadow



I can see the sun
why can’t I see my shadow
pouring prayer and praises into the cup of faith 


I can see the dark
I can see my shadow
sipping the wine of pleasure from the cup of sin 

Oh Allah …..,
I am just a grain of substances
which was allowed to stop by and enjoy life
but tend to choose pleasure than piety
I’ve crossed the ocean to the edge of universe
to correct  the mistake of my shadow
it has to come from the fibers of this self
to kneel below Thy splendor


– mei –



from us to us


My beautiful friends,

I’m sure you all know Subhan Zein. <>
Beside his brilliant works he is also
a humble person which having a beautiful heart.
I think I do not have to explain in detail because you definitely known better.
He is sick now, as I quoted his words on facebook as followed,


“Friends, please pray for me. I have been having air hunger, chest constriction,
and suffocated throat for nearly a year now. It’s been coming and going,
but tonight is the worst.
High levels of stress due to the presence of various issues are causative to these.
I’ve been undergoing medical treatment, prayer,
yoga, and meditation, and am still hoping for the best to happen.
While these health issues have affected a lot of my productivity,
my desire to continue writing never dims.
My passion to serve the world through the written word is still Ablaze.
In a moment like this I just hope that I am having the perfect health
and less burden on my shoulders, but it seems that I will have to wait a little longer “.


Here I am inviting you my dear friends whatever your beliefs are,
to spend some minutes of your precious time to pray for Subhan
and some of our blogger friends who are sick
That would mean a lot to them .

“May God lifted all illnesses that suffered and cure Subhan Zein
some of our blogger friends who are sick “. Amen.

اللّهُمَّ رَبَّ النَّاسِ اَذْهِبِ الْبَأْسَ اشْفِ فَأَنْتَ الشَّافيِ لاَ شِفَاءَ إِلاَّ شِفَاؤُكَ شِفَاءً لاَ يُغَادِرُ سَقَماً

Thank you so much for your kindness, hoping be re-paid by God.

With love,



The prayers from fellow bloggers at the comment box are considered
not as comments but as part of this post.






a sense of longing infiltrated through fingertips

creeping along the reciting of holy verses

cold like water dripping in aridity

need more  to wet the soul


– mei –


image :






if we look back on our life,
we see pain,

but wait a minute

just see in the mirror,
there is strength,
learned lessons,
pride in our self

keep looking ahead
and believe
that tomorrow is a promise


Dear past,
thank you for your lessons.
Dear future.
I am ready.
Dear God.
thank you for another year.



– mei –



before I say “Amen”




I once drank the wine of  bitter life
which slammed this soul into the aisle of emptyness
all seems so unfair
the road ahead seems endless
and sometime the dream so far away
but when I almost surrender
I stop and remember
the endless love that freely given
so that I could survive until this moment
and never forget the harsh lessons in my life
it make me stronger
before I say ‘Amen
I’ll also pray for the people
who is reading this
shall have the comfort, peace and love
I may not know their troubles
but God…., You do
give them the strength as given to me
keep them safe from worldly temptations of this winding life
and arrived safe in Your kingdom of love
Thank you God




– mei –


biases of love

You created the bridge of love over the river of  life

and letting me wade alone….,

without guidance


You let the love’s bias slaps the vulnerable faith

to remind me before being immersed

in perverse

O Allah… O Rabbi

let Your love’s biases hitting me

again…and again

so as not be further

dissolved in contemptible


– mei –

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my discordant voice

I played this song
to convey my admiration
of Thy greatness

the guitar strings
interlace the rhythm
to the verses of praise

I want you to listen
but I feel ashamed
because my voice is discordant

O Allah
I just realized
anyhow You will heard
though it sung in my heart


– mei –


the night is getting old
I closed the window
turn off the light
lay this body
on the mattress
and closed my eyes
sudden I remembered
gee ….
I forgot to say
“thanks for everything God”


– mei –

the void of soul


restless, why did you locked the soul in the dark
letting me crawled blindly

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shame on me

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if God wills – insha’Allah

oh mom  
please forgive me  
of everything I did that make you sad
oh dad  
please forgive me  
for all delinquencies that make you angry  
oh my brothers and sisters  
I am so sorry  
on my nosy acts that upsets you  
oh my beloved ones  
I am so sorry  
for my behavior and negligence that disappoints you

oh my God please forgive my sins
thank you for the opportunity to worship in the holy month

with your forgiveness
I hope to fully past the holy month of fasting without hindrances


– mei –

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the perfect love

You are like a clear water  
wets my skin surface
nourishes my longing
in my searching

You are like a clear water  
gives me freshness
permeated to my whole life
in my longing

You are like a clear water  
comes along morning light
brings warmth to the soul
dragging my hopes into reality

You are like a clear water  
flowing along my blood
arouses the confidence
that Thou are the perfect love


– mei –

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my apology

One day before the month of Ramadan, the Prophet said with humility:
“Amen, amen, amen!”
His friend then asked:
“O Prophet why do you said amen for three times while we have not heard anyone praying.?”
Then the Prophet replied:
“I said amen for three times because the angel Gabriel had just sat here and prayed:
“O God ignore and do not accept the fasting of Muhammad’s ummah if before Ramadan they
have not apologized to their parents, forgive between husband wife, families and to the people surrounding.”


O ye who believe, incumbent upon you to fast (shiyamu) as prescribed for those before you
so that you may become pious.
(Surat Al-Baqarah [2]: paragraph 183)


Ramadan,  the fasting month is coming in a few days.
Before entering this holy month I would like to apologize to all of you
if any of my works or comments had offended you.

To my muslim friends, I wish you a blessed Ramadan

Thank you so much  for being such a wonderful friends.
God bless you my friends.

Best regards,
– mei –

from the rib of men

she was created from the rib of men to
to be at his side
to love him
to be the mother of his child

she was created from the rib of men
does not mean that
she could be colonized
she could be denigrated
she could be treated arbitrarily

she was created from the rib of men
to remind that she is behind his success
to remind that she could be behind its demise
to remind there will always be women in his life

she was created from the rib of men
to be loved
to be protected
to be respected

she was created from the rib of men
to be his mother and his daughter


Indeed, women were created from a rib. Actually the most crooked part of the rib is the top.
If you want to straighten it, you’ll break it. And if you want to have fun with her,
you can have fun but in her there is bent.”
(Narrated by Al-Bukhari and Muslim)


This issue specifically addressed by the Prophet.
Because in the eyes of Allah women is equal to men in terms of faith.
Women were created from a bent rib, it does not mean that she is bent (ugly).
It’s just a matter of function, where men and women have their own functions.

Let’s look at the shape of a crooked rib, it serves as the framework that make body strength.
So she was also a part that can build and uphold life. Many of soft organs protected by the crooked rib.
As with women, she could take care her children and family’s life.
Crooked is not a form of weakness of women, therefore the Prophet said to counsel women on good terms.
It’s to keep the female psyche for not be broke, so she can execute her primary function
as a mother, wife, as well as her own.

Since the women’s task was given by Allah, therefore He has given the strength to them.
One clear example is the pain during giving birth, it’s an extraordinary power given
by God to women as the hereditary successor.
A good child born from the greatness of a mother who cares and raise them.
Behind the success of a husband, there is a great wife who accompanied and support him.
If women are treated well, then her soul awakened to compassion and patience.
Love and affection all the time in assisting children and their families without feeling hurt or disappointed.


– mei –

calculation as a consideration

let him sleep
let him rest
then he would make no more crimes

let him sleep
let him rest
then he would forget of his sins

let him sleep quiet
let him rest forever
for no more regrets

when a fetus begins to animate
he has been listed on HIS wills
his journey started written
his sin and goodness will be carved
his repentance will be considered

HE is calculating
HE is considering
whether heaven or hell


– mei –

O ye who believe, fear Allah and let every soul pay attention to what he has done for tomorrow (hereafter),
and fear to Allah, surely Allah is Aware of what ye do.
(Al Hasyr 18)

is not due to the chance

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native American prayer

oh Great spirit

whose voice I hear in the wind, and whose breath gives life to all the world

hear me, I am small and weak

I need your strength and wisdom

let me walk in beauty and my eyes never behold the red and purple sunset

makes my hands respect the things you have

made my ears sharp to hear your voice

make me wise so that I may understand the things

you have taught my people

let me learn the lessons you have hidden in every leaf and rock

I seek strength not to be greater than my brother but to fight my greatest enemy

 “my self”

make me always ready to come to you with clean hands and straight eyes

so when life’s fade as the fading sunset my spirit will come to you without shame


– mei –

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the because that countless

do I have love
yes I do

to whom
to my God


He will embraced me while I am in hardship

He will give when I am asking

He will loving me forever

no comparison to His love

His love is limitless

He is the unconditionally love
He is my everlasting lover

لا إله إلا الله محمد رسول الله

since I left my heart



I left my heart under the wet ground
sprinkled with rose petals
to make it look beautiful from the taints of disappointment

I left my heart under the wet ground
sprinkled with white jasmine
to make it look clean from the taints of pain

I left my heart under the wet ground
covered with the smiles
for no one would know that my soul is crying

now I have no heart
I would not know any of pain
since I cannot feel anymore

suddenly someone put a little piece of love in my hand
and said take back your heart then give it to God
let His love heal the pain

Continue reading

“a must” be inherent dust

I am just dust

which inherent in your ear

sometimes in the eye

makes you disturbed and dirty

but wait……

I had never heard you complain about me

or even sighing annoyed

you instead protects me

you give when I ask

you hold when I cry

oh my God……..

I feel ashamed and wanted to run away

but I am not able

because I need you


I know

if I leave you

then I will no longer being the dust

but will became trash


you will not allowed me to inherent even on your foot


reverie of chasing the splendor of heaven

in reverie I seeping through a blue sky curtain

I  could smell your scent and feeling your embrace 

your love came to my heart and fill its corners

at a glance broke my empty soul into parts

the beauty I longed has slicing my soul into a scream

I did not deserve for the beauty and your love

Since my eyes filled with the dust of greedy

I walk to the edge of the sky on my weary steps

to pursue the forgiveness in the night haze

had heard only the waves singing the song of vain

which slowly walked to the gate of death

Impossible to find the splendor of heaven

my heart is filled with evil and hypocrisy

hurting and making people to be in sorrow is a satisfaction

I aware that pardon will not reach me

no point in being strong like a pillar of the kingdom

I desperately asked for your mercy…my God

for a moment let me drawn into my stupid imagination

to write a poetry about

reverie of chasing the splendor of heaven


Continue reading

the looking glass by God is I Am (reblogged)

I am very happy to know that my writing was beneficial to fellow bloggers especially to you and
I am honored since this wonderful poem was dedicated  to me.



God Is I Am

Aurora Borealis – Marc Adamus – Featured Photographer, on April 12, 2012

•*¨*•¸¸¸.•*¨*•☆ •*¨*•¸¸¸.•*¨*•☆•*¨*•¸¸¸.•*¨*•☆•*¨*•.¸¸¸.•*¨*•☆

There is a land in which I dream

To climb the mountains and swim the stream.

A celestial place in hues of green.

Were the still water is a reflecting glass,

For all to see what is in their path.

It is a place of divine grace

That fills the empty human space.

A place to find the answers to your prayers.

As the color of the sky transforms the land

You know the Truth of God is at hand.

It is where God whispers in the quiet voice.

That you are deserving of all your dreams.

So look into the looking glass and grasp

The magnificence of Spirit and the beauty of Divinity.

Close your eyes and hear the winds as they whisk on by,

Feel the love from the One who embraces…

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reconstruction of the heart and mind


the shadow of night slowly comes over me

through a small hole

I can hear the insects are crawling

when I leering into the sky

the stars are twinkling

trying to illuminate the darkness of my soul

and the moon seducing me to smile

I never knew there were so much care

waking me from sleeping too long in misery

and let my feeling be as the driver

I  sudden felt a vibration of emotion

that I had never felt before

it is to open my heart and construct way of thinking

in reach the real meaning of life

and freed myself from the cocoon of misery

to gaze upon a new trip of life’s procession

there is much beauty I never take notice of

there is so much love that I didn’t care

even if I did not get their love

let me give out my love for all

hell with all the painful misery

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while we still have time

if still possible
to incised the goodness
while there is still a chance
do not waste time
to correct the mistakes

to forgive and forgiven
on behalf of our self and soul

if still possible
thankful for the time that given
how long it will last
nobody knows

we are here only for a while
what we have just a deposit
till time take it away

if still possible
we could through this night
and still could see the sun
but everything is on His wish

while we still have time
let’s give more than before
let’s love more than present

Continue reading