he has been hurt

he has been hurt
pierced by the thorns of love
stand among bitterness

he has been hurt
crying and screaming
without sound

he has been hurt
his blood infused by the love’s poison
lethal a half of his soul

he has been hurt
asked me to remove the toxins from the blood
with a passion of hope

he has been hurt
by my love

***

– mei –

*

the gamble of love

the flavor of love
cradles the beauties
luring the pleasures
no reasons to be rejected
at the other side
disappointment shadowing
hopes shrouded by uncertainty
no signs of pain
no pictured of sadness

when love game begins
eyes were blind…, ears were deaf
vinegar tasted like wine
unwittingly shadowed by bitterness

her destiny was to be touched by the fingers of love
and created to sipped the wine of love
that always sweet at first
might be bitter at the end

she
that intoxicated by the poison of feeling
trapped in her love destiny

she
could become a hopeless drifter

***

– mei –

a memory of the first July


among the clouds on the blue sky

white doves flying elegantly

knitting a limitless daydream

of the long waiting

brightly sky became cloudy

shoo the white doves to marching home

left a loneliness spreading to the soul

daydream changed into sadness

cuts the thread of the waiting

tears fall on the lap

as rain wets the orchards

bitterness seeped to the heart

carved as the memory of the first July

***

– mei –

the insight on forgiveness

Forgiveness is a decision, not a feeling.
If you wait until something or someone makes things happen before you start forgiving,
you will be waiting your whole life!

When you forgive, it doesn’t mean you approve of what others did to you.

Forgiveness is actually a gift you give to yourself, giving you permission to move on with your life.

Anger, bitterness and hatred can consume and dominate you.
It changes who you really are.
It can contaminate your relationships with other people.
It can poison you on all levels of your body – emotionally, physically,
mentally and spiritually until it manifests into illness or diseases.
It will follow you wherever you go, no matter how many times you move and “run away” from your
problems,
your problems are just sitting on your shoulder until you decide to “let them go”.

Since people are human, humans are not perfect and they can make mistakes.
You can face these people if they wronged you and if you don’t get what you need from them
in order for you to move on with your life, then give yourself permission to “let it go” and disconnect
or unplug your relationship from them, if you wish.

Remember, “People can not give you what they don’t have.”
For example, if someone doesn’t have the ability in their hearts to apologize, you won’t get any
sincere apology from them.

If a person lacks empathy, they won’t have the ability to put themselves in your shoes and
understand what you went through.

Do not give your power away to others.

The only person that controls you is you.
By constantly relieving the past, you are giving the person who wronged you permission to control your life!

You can not change what has happened in the past.
You can not go back in time to undo it but you can decide what you want for the future.
You can get help and the support you need.
You can bring healing to yourself and others.
You can be an advocate and a spokesperson.
You can view it as a learning experience to make yourself stronger than you are now.
You may ask, “But what happens to that ***** who wronged me?
I want him/her to suffer!”

Well, what goes around comes around!
The best revenge is living well!

There is no timeline for recovery.
Time doesn’t mend broken hearts.
It is what you do with your time that matters most.

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last words.

I could only cry

feeling of useless was struggling  in my chest

couldn’t bear to see him wrestled with death

moaned and groaned resignedly

I could only wish

If God allow me to replace him

but the desire was stream away with tears

such as footprint erased by waves

I hugged him and whispered

“please stay with me”

he weakly open his palms

written there “I will always love you”

bitterness slicing inside my bones

half of my soul gone along with him

after he carved his last words in my life

then he sailed to the forest of immortal

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