chasing the shadow

*

*

I can see the sun
but
why can’t I see my shadow
pouring prayer and praises into the cup of faith 

*

I can see the dark
and
I can see my shadow
sipping the wine of pleasure from the cup of sin 

*
 
Oh Allah …..,
I am just a grain of substances
which was allowed to stop by and enjoy life
but tend to choose pleasure than piety
I’ve crossed the ocean to the edge of universe
to correct  the mistake of my shadow
turns
it has to come from the fibers of this self
to kneel below Thy splendor

***

– mei –

photo: http://www.desktopnexus.com/

*

His answers

#

I asked God to omit my problems.
His answer:
No…, your problems not for eliminated but need to be defeated.

I asked God to heal my disability
His answer:
No…, your body is just temporarily but keep your soul to be perfect

I asked God to give me patience
His answer:
No…, patience is the result of trouble not for given but to be learned


I asked God to bless me
His answer:
No…, I had give you thankfulness so your life will never be in lacked.

I ask God to keep me away from suffering
His answer:
No…, suffer will keep you away from worldly attention but bring you closer to me.

I asked God to grown my faith
His answer:
No…, your faith has to grow itself but I will prune to quickly bear the fruit

I ask God to give me everything so I could enjoy life
His answer:
I gave you life to enjoy everything.

I ask God to help me love others as He loves me.
Then He said:
“Hmm….. finally you understood”

***

– mei –

*

the cup of dignity


when you cried
I pretended not to hear
when you talk
I don’t want to hear
when you shook me
I pretended not understand

then you ask
why didn’t I answer you
I say
too much to listen to you
made my ears full
no more space for question

you yelled again
why I didn’t  fulfill your request

I say
I grant whatever you’ve asked
I gave everything I had
nothing left to give
besides this dignity
but I’ll keep it
until

my soul is revoked
which my body will be devoured by worms
but this honor
will stay

to fill the cup of
my descendants


Continue reading

my guardian angel

Continue reading

existency

living day-by-day
between the sweetness and bitterness
singing, laughing and crying
involved in the black and white of life

under the pouring rain wet by sins
wallowing in the mud of pleasure
under the sunlight dried by wildness
to be swallowed and united with contempt

using the leaves of greed
trying to clean up the dirt
then burn all the responsibilities
with the denial twigs as the coal

but the root of firmness still remaining
which wondering if there still a chance
to guard which had been lent
to keep the trust that given

then realized why could only
asking more and more than giving
regret penetrating to the entire chest
wailing in the tears of remorse

through the body and soul
above the mats strewn with flowers of hope
a plea has been sent for Thy forgiveness
kneeling and thankful for Thy love
which has been given for years in life

last wishper

He emerged behind the dewy bush
like a newborn baby
shouting and dancing
but he was so pale
shivering while dancing

throwing himself on
the wet grass

began to cry then asking
what’s the difference between
dreams and reality

please tell me
I’ve been looking for the answer
around the rooms in my body

but nothing found
this is the reality of a painful
while I want to be cured
just like a dream which is also abused me

soon after he sat
lifted both hands and began to pray
“Oh god, if that is what you want
then I must accept”. Amen “.
while take a deep breath he whispered
“Thanks God for released me from reality and guiding me to a wonderful dreams”.

  • Dreams (jieent.wordpress.com)