the impact of red roses

when I get a bunch of red roses at my door

without name…., no messages

this feeling says…. it’s you

but I am not so sure

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that woman is ….

I sit still
listening to the language of the heart
as if living in a world that far out of reach
where the bitterness and anguish hiding
which ready to come while in lulled

I sit still
trying to understand the language of the soul
hear the silence whispered to this heart
about woman’s existence on the stage of life
about the role that she plays

I begin to ask
what role is given
the silence whispered to my soul
she will arouse a passionate
she arouses the curiosity
like a flower that blooms without the aid of the season
woman is a beauty that cannot be understood
such as the softly melodious music sang by wind
such as the dew sparkling on sunny morning
such as butterfly that flies on approaching
she will be adored at her youth
but then will be forgotten when she grizzled
a fat and weak body waiting at the kitchen’s corner
such as leaf which ready to fall when the snow coming
such a tree eaten by termites and ready to fall
disappointment for no respect carved
but no tears dripping

I was stunned
and my body vibrates
heart and my soul become hustle and bustle
since that woman is me
again the silence whispered to my soul
you are the mother of your kids
which one day became
man and woman

***

– mei –

*

to keep in dream

I liked your eyes
honest and full of love

I liked your voice
heavy and dignified

I liked your smile
sweet and sincere

I liked when you are walking
manly and full of confidence

then I realized I liked you
but you don’t know me
nor even my existence
I am just no one
for if by chance we’ve met
I bet you will never ever liked me
but I don’t care

I only care my likes of you
and keep it stay in my dream

***

– mei –


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and…..I


and…. I could do that too
as same as you did to me
perhaps we could have the same wound
but not the same suffering
perhaps we could miss each other
but not the same loss
I know you could forget me
but I couldn’t forget you
to you I’m just a history
but to me you will always be in my memory

 

***

– mei –



the victim


I’m not a toy
I’m not goods
to fight for

you said I am the fruit of love
you said I am the rope of love
is that true?

now where is the fruit and the rope?
is it vanished along with love?
then what am I

your ego and arrogance
had buried your love
ignored my existences
and let me buried in misery

If I could choose
I’d rather not to be born

***

– mei –

 


 

memory

though your traces
fade away
no residual
no record

the memories of you
stored neatly
in my mind
and my heart

 ***

– mei –

 

 



Y O U

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sometimes please me
also irritates me

Sometimes makes me happy
also hurt me

sometimes I miss
also tedious

sometimes makes me laugh
also makes me cry

sometimes I want to be with
also want to leave

the one
always stay near me
always in my mind
always in my heart
just “you”



			

to Thee

I am weak and helpless
like a grain of sand carried by wind
I am nothing and stupid
drifting in the world’s hypocrisy
dirty, wrapped in sins
to Thee
I have to kneel

to Thee
I could only plead

For not to leave me
walking without Thy guidance
wandering without Thy love
bestowed me Thy blessings
for me to love and to be loved
to forgive and to be forgiven
a strong love to Thee
flowing with my breath
in my blood

to Thee
Thou are the truth
Thou are the glorious
Thou are the power
Thou is perfect
let me feel Thy grace
have mercy on me and forgive my sins
my God
my only Lord

my worship shall only
to Thee


			

last wishper

He emerged behind the dewy bush
like a newborn baby
shouting and dancing
but he was so pale
shivering while dancing

throwing himself on
the wet grass

began to cry then asking
what’s the difference between
dreams and reality

please tell me
I’ve been looking for the answer
around the rooms in my body

but nothing found
this is the reality of a painful
while I want to be cured
just like a dream which is also abused me

soon after he sat
lifted both hands and began to pray
“Oh god, if that is what you want
then I must accept”. Amen “.
while take a deep breath he whispered
“Thanks God for released me from reality and guiding me to a wonderful dreams”.

  • Dreams (jieent.wordpress.com)

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gathering..,  ongoing time filled  with
snacking,  drinking,  smoking,  joking,
laughing, get drunk, dawn is coming
getting tired, all sleep, then
morning arrived,
and night

passed
filled
with
joy
and
familiarity
everyone was happy
friend in need is friend in deed?