distant land

fly little fireflies
fly gracefully
tell my mom I miss her

fly little fireflies
fly to the land above the clouds
tell my mom I’ll be there one day

– mei –

lullaby

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Source: Uploaded by user via Mei on Pinterest

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goodnight little baby….,  goodnight

turn off the light…., sleep tight

feel free to coloring your dream

before your gentle smile touched by problems

before the tempest inflict you tears

before vinegar drips into the clarity of your soul

sleep little angel…., sleep quietly in my cradle

my prayers will be  the shade of your soul

my support will be the pole of your self-confidence

my lap will be the place of your spilling tears

sleep my love….,  sleep quietly

I will always be here

 heaven chose me to be your mother

***

– mei –

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would never be enough

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on your wrinkled face
marched the unending love

on your fragile bones
engraved the countless sacrifices

through your breath
blew the unceasing prayers

just for me

mom….., for you
a world-wide of thank you
would never be enough

***

– mei –

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photo credit : American Native Graphic

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a mother’s love

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My mom only had one eye. I hated her… She was such an embarrassment.
She cooked for students and teachers to support the family.

There was this one day during elementary school where my mom came to say hello to me.
I was so embarrassed.

How could she do this to me? I ignored her, threw her a hateful look and ran out.
The next day at school one of my classmates said, ‘Eeeeee…, your mom only has one eye!’

I wanted to bury myself. I also wanted my mom to just disappear.
I confronted her that day and said,
‘ If you’re only gonna make me a laughing stock, why don’t you just die?’

My mom did not respond… I didn’t even stop to think for a second about what I had said,
because I was full of anger. I was oblivious to her feelings.

I wanted out of that house, and have nothing to do with her.
So I studied real hard, got a chance to go abroad to study.

Then, I got married. I bought a house of my own.
I had kids of my own. I was happy with my life, my kids and the comforts.
Then one day, my Mother came to visit me.
She hadn’t seen me in years and she didn’t even meet her grandchildren.

When she stood by the door, my children laughed at her,
and I yelled at her for coming over uninvited.
I screamed at her, ‘How dare you come to my house and scare my children!
“Get out of here! Now!!!”

And to this, my mother quietly answered, ‘Oh, I’m so sorry.
I may have gotten the wrong address,’ and she disappeared out of sight.

One day, a letter regarding a school reunion came to my house.
So I lied to my wife that I was going on a business trip.
After the reunion, I went to the old shack just out of curiosity.

My neighbors said that she died. I did not shed a single tear.
They handed me a letter that she had wanted me to have.

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‘My dearest son,

I think of you all the time. I’m sorry that I came to your house and scared your children.

I was so glad when I heard you were coming for the reunion.
But I may not be able to even get out of bed to see you.
I’m sorry that I was a constant embarrassment to you when you were growing up.

You see……..when you were very little, you got into an accident, and lost your eye.
As a mother, I couldn’t stand watching you having to grow up with one eye.
So I gave you mine.

I was so proud of my son who was seeing a whole new world for me, in my place,
with…. that eye.

With all my love to you,

Your mother.

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shared from Moral Stories

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– mei –

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in my shortcomings

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gave birth to you was beauty

raising you was my liability

leading you is my duty

loving you is a loveliest pleasure

your hopes are my prayer

your struggle is my pain

your tears is my anguish

your wound is my suffering

in your dark I will be the eyes

in the drought I will become the rain

in the storm I will become the shelter

in your battle I will be the shield

for you …. I willingly sacrifice

for you …. my love is unconditional

because of you….. my breath has meaning

***

– mei –

Dedicated to  my beloved sons Romeza, Rolanzi and Ronizar
with all the shortcomings I will always try to give my best …
though I knew perfection only belongs to Allah SwT.

With  all my love,
mommy

***

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in her eyes


A little boy asked his mother, “Why are you crying?”

“Because I’m a woman,” she told him.
“I don’t understand,” he said.
His Mom just hugged him and said, “And you never will.”

“All women cry for no reason,” was all his dad could say.
The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry.
Then, he put in a call to a Priest .

When the Priest got on the phone, he asked, “Why do women cry so easily?”
Priest said:
“When GOD made the woman she had to be special.

He made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world,
yet gentle enough to give comfort.
HE gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many
times comes from her children.
HE gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up,
and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining.
HE gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances,
even when her child has hurt her very badly.
HE gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her
from his rib to protect his heart.
HE gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife,
but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfaltering.
HE gave her a tear to shed. This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed.”

that woman is ….

I sit still
listening to the language of the heart
as if living in a world that far out of reach
where the bitterness and anguish hiding
which ready to come while in lulled

I sit still
trying to understand the language of the soul
hear the silence whispered to this heart
about woman’s existence on the stage of life
about the role that she plays

I begin to ask
what role is given
the silence whispered to my soul
she will arouse a passionate
she arouses the curiosity
like a flower that blooms without the aid of the season
woman is a beauty that cannot be understood
such as the softly melodious music sang by wind
such as the dew sparkling on sunny morning
such as butterfly that flies on approaching
she will be adored at her youth
but then will be forgotten when she grizzled
a fat and weak body waiting at the kitchen’s corner
such as leaf which ready to fall when the snow coming
such a tree eaten by termites and ready to fall
disappointment for no respect carved
but no tears dripping

I was stunned
and my body vibrates
heart and my soul become hustle and bustle
since that woman is me
again the silence whispered to my soul
you are the mother of your kids
which one day became
man and woman

***

– mei –

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the old days

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one day

when no one wants me to persuade when crying

when no one asks me to cure while in pain

when no one asks  me to prepare food at when hungry

when no one is looking for me when arrived home

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then ….,

I will feel useless

and feel left out

alone

at the old days

***

– mei –